Merry Christmas Wishes and Funny Stories

It is that time of year when you walk outside, the air smells crisp and the skies are a little grey. Jack Frost has touched the window panes with his magic fingers and the ice scraper needs to come out of the glove box in order to scrape off the front car window. Street Christmas lights take on a new aura as their red and green lights blink on and off. You begin to drive down the side streets on your way home to see who has the best light show on their lawn, and the children have sent their wish lists off to Santa. If you haven’t guessed what time of year it is, it is Christmas time - time for sending all those beautiful Merry Cristmas Wishes (check out this collection).

Christmas itself represents a Holiday season that has taken on countless meanings all over this diverse country of ours; from snow covered hills to pink lights on palm trees, nativity scenes to peppermint pigs. Ebenezer Scrooge and The Grinch, as well as Miracle on 34th Street and It’s A Wonderful Life, all hold a special place in our hearts. Some of us may travel across the country during Christmas time, while others of us may simply travel across the street. Most of us will be sending greeting cards and Merry Christmas messages to our friends and family.

For your funny inspiration on Christmas wishes, feel free to get inspired by the following messages, or you can use them as they are. There are many websites around with collections of cristmas messages, but I feel these are the funniest.

It’s the thought that counts and I put a ton of thought into picking out this Christmas card for you!
One of the best things about Christmas is the office Christmas party. It’s a great opportunity to finally meet face-to-face the people who you’ve been emailing from a few feet away all year.
I like my men like I like my Christmas ornaments: bright, colorful and well hung!
Do you know why this Christmas card is so wonderful? Because it isn’t an email and it isn’t a text.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house everyone was on their phone.
“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of Santa?” – Bart Simpson

No matter what our Christmas traditions are, there is one very strong connection that we all share. Recent events in our country’s history, [9-11, Hurricane Katrina], remind us all of this connection and continue to strengthen that bond every day. This time of year we gather together with friends and family. As we gather, some of us may celebrate the birth of Christ, some of us may light candles on a Menorah, some of us may simply unwrap gifts with glee without a second thought. Yet there is no doubt, no question, that we all gather to celebrate each other. We all wish the best things in life for our friends and relatives. We send them Christmas greetings with joy. For more of those, I have a free resource page spared.

Does anyone else think it is strange that we allow an old, fat man to sneak into our house in the middle of the night, eat cookies and drink milk and then fill our socks with his junk?
I am permanently on the naughty list, and damn proud of it too!
Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Money is scarce, times are hard, but I still managed to get you a Christmas card.
A Christmas greeting from a lawyer: Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Disclaimer: the wisher of these wishes claims no liability, the terms ‘merry’ and ‘happy’ should not be construed as legal advice and the word ‘Christmas’ should be interpreted as including any and all other holidays, religious or otherwise, that occur in/or around the same time of year.

We gather to celebrate life, and family, and those we love. We gather to enjoy good food, good conversation and good company. We reminisce about past holidays, remember those we love who are no longer with us, and plan for the future. We share photos, we share gifts, we chare Merry Christmas wishes,and we share laughs. At Christmas time we look for the innocent sparkle in our children’s eyes as we help them to create their own memories, and tuck them soundly into bed with a smile on their faces as ‘visions of sugar plums dance in their heads’.

This is the time of year to be grateful to Jesus because he got you a few extra days off from work.
Thanks to autocorrect, the children who don’t check over their work will be getting a visit from Satan this year.
Sorry to inform you but Christmas is cancelled this year. Apparently YOU told Santa you were good this year and he died laughing.
Can I please have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
I took my daughter to go see Santa at the mall, and guess what that jerk did? He called her a ‘ho’ three times!

No matter our age, our race, or our nationality; No matter our heritage, our upbringing, or our traditions; At Christmas time, we live, we laugh, and we love.

We wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

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